


I'll Do Almost Anything

by Chrommunism



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Consensual Somnophilia, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Oral Sex, Post-Canon, Somnophilia, like half of this is banter because these two are too fun to write, other characters are mentioned but not enough to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-08 04:42:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21229994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrommunism/pseuds/Chrommunism
Summary: A conversation between Linhardt and Caspar about their desires leads to some... interesting results ;)





	I'll Do Almost Anything

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I know I'm far from the first to come up with a Linhardt somnophilia fic, but consider this: I do what I want. Anyways, please enjoy.

“Why are you so interested in having this conversation now all of a sudden?” Linhardt was laid out across the bed, limbs splayed everywhere and eyes half-lidded. He spoke with the sort of exasperation that indicated how, if he wasn’t participating in this conversation, he would very likely be asleep already.

“I don’t know, doesn’t it seem weird to you that we’ve never really talked about it before?” Caspar insisted, flopping over to properly face Linhardt from his own position under the covers.

“Not particularly. But, if it really does interest you so much, it’s not as though I have anything to hide. Unfortunately, I do think what I have to tell is much less interesting than you’re imagining.”

“I mean, I can go first, if you want.” Caspar paused a moment, watched Linhardt lazily lift a hand, gesturing for him to continue. “I mean, I don’t have anything interesting to say about my sex life that you don’t already know about. You were my first, that time right after we got back together with everyone at the monastery, and you’ve been a part of everything I’ve done since.” Caspar was pleased with how even he managed to keep his voice. Out of the two of them, he was typically the one who struggled to keep an even keel when discussing more intimate matters. Even if he was all brashness and confidence in most things, he often felt that delicate words and feelings seemed completely unsuited to him.

“I certainly have been. My own sexual history is mostly the same as yours, save for the few years before we reunited. I did have a handful of encounters, mostly out of sheer boredom and curiosity. I don’t remember much about any of them, but I do recall thinking of you the whole time while any of them were having their way with me.”

“Hang on, you were thinking about me while you were…?” Caspar trailed off, not quite trusting his own voice enough to ask the last part of that question. Linhardt merely nodded. “Even before we’d been together?”

“Even though you weren’t aware of how I felt yet, I had been in love with you for years by the time we were at the monastery together,” Linhardt patiently explained. Caspar couldn’t hold back a choked sound. A gentle smile made its way onto Linhardt’s face as he saw Caspar’s shocked expression. “Caspar, you know that you were the first and only person I ever truly wanted. I longed for you before I even understood what it meant to long for someone like that.”

“Yeah, I do know, but still… Goddess.” Caspar sounded out of breath. He tried his hardest to hide how much that realization affected him.

“Other than that, I can’t imagine much I could say about my past that might interest you. Hm, I suppose there was that time with Ferdinand…” Linhardt trailed off.

“Ferdinand!? Wait, hang on, back up.” Caspar knew he was probably close to shouting, but there were some times he just couldn’t contain his voice. “You had SEX with FERDINAND? Like, Ferdinand von Aegir? The one we went to school with?” If Caspar’s increase in volume wasn’t enough to display his shock, the way his jaw dropped and his eyes flew wide open certainly did. It was exaggerated enough that Linhardt had to stifle a laugh.

“Do you know any other Ferdinands?”

“No, but I just can’t believe… you seriously slept with Ferdinand?”

“Like I said, it was some time during those early years of the war before we had reconvened at Garreg Mach. Ferdinand had happened to wander through Hevring territory, though I can’t imagine why; he must have known how my father supported Edelgard. In any case, he was positively haggard from his traveling, so I offered him lodging at our manor. As I mentioned earlier, this was a period of time where I hardly spoke to anyone, so the chance to spend time with any of our classmates, even someone as ostentatious as him was…” Linhardt yawned. “I’m tired of explaining, I’m sure you get the picture.”

“Uh, no, I totally don’t,” Caspar protested. “I didn’t have some… romantic meet up with any of our former classmates in the middle of the war, so I guess I really don’t get it.” There was no hurt or jealousy in Caspar’s tone, only insistent confusion in that intense way of his that absolutely demanded explanation.

“There was nothing romantic about it, I can assure you,” Linhardt sighed. “I was still very much in love with you, a fact that even Ferdinand had picked up on. He simply seemed tired and lonely, and when I offered for him to share my bed, he agreed. Even if I was in love with you, I would be lying if I said I didn’t find him to be quite striking, handsome, even. It never happened again after the one time.” The corners of Linhardt’s lips tugged upwards in a wry smile. “After all, I’m fairly certain we were both imagining being with other people throughout the whole encounter.”

“Huh.” Caspar couldn’t come up with an immediate response, still trying to puzzle out how he felt about this new information. “So, what was he like?”

“Hm?”

A mischievous smile crept onto Caspar’s face. “You know, what was Ferdinand like in bed?”

Linhardt’s face pinched slightly. “I didn’t exactly commit it to memory, it did happen quite a few years ago. I suppose the best way to describe it would be that he behaved exactly the same as he does in every other aspect of his life. You know, playing up the whole ‘perfect noble’ aspect and whatnot.”

“What, like he was all polite and insisting he take care of you or whatever?”

“Yes, that would probably be a good way to put it.”

“Huh. Weird.” Caspar turned to look up at the ceiling, still processing everything. His brain seemed to be stuck on the mental image of Linhardt, who he had seen in the throes of pleasure many times, alongside Ferdinand, who so carefully crafted his image as a polished noble that imagining him doing anything even slightly risqué seemed absolutely bizarre to Caspar.

“What, are you imagining it?” Linhardt asked. When Caspar turned back to look at him, the corners of his mouth had tugged up in a sleepy smile.

“I don’t know, it’s just _weird_,” Caspar grumbled, his cheeks flushing.

“You know, this conversation is turning out to be much more interesting than I thought it would be,” Linhardt teased, watching the blush spread over Caspar’s skin.

“Yeah, because you just love being embarrassing,” Caspar huffed.

“I’m not embarrassed,” Linhardt replied. Caspar rolled his eyes, making Linhardt smile even wider. “In any case, how about you tell me more about yourself?”

“I already told you, you’re the only person I’ve been with. What’s there to tell?”

“Hm. Oh, I know!” Linhardt’s eyes lit up in the same way they did whenever he stumbled upon a new, interesting vein of research. “How about you tell me about your fantasies.”

Caspar sputtered. “Fantasies!?” He had already resigned himself to that fact that Linhardt wanted to talk about embarrassing stuff, but that particular prompt caught him completely off guard.

“You know, any ideas that’ve turned you on, scenarios you’d like to try out, dreams you’d like to recreate, things that you’d like to do to me, or vice versa.” Linhardt yawned. “You get the idea.”

“Yeah, Linhardt, I know what fantasies are. But seriously, you just want me to tell you about that?”

“I do believe that’s what I just said.”

“Uh, alright.” Caspar had to pause and think. “I mean, what we already do is pretty great. I guess it’d be pretty cool if you wanted to top more often, but I know you usually think it’s too much effort.”

“That is true, I have said that before. But, if it really is something you want, you’ll just need to let me know earlier so I can get in plenty of naps to make sure I have enough energy.” Linhardt’s frank reply was pretty much exactly what Caspar expected to hear, since it was pretty much exactly what Linhardt said any time Caspar brought up him topping.

“Ugh, you know I’m no good with planning ahead and all that. There’s no element of surprise if we talk about it hours in advance!”

Linhardt turned over to shoot Caspar a tired look. “If you expect me to go anywhere near your asshole, it had better be meticulously clean, so there was never any chance for some spur-of-the-moment tryst in the first place.”

“Oh, what_ever_, I can’t help wanting stuff,” Caspar groaned, dramatically indignant. “What kinda stuff do you fantasize about, then?”

Linhardt’s face dropped into its frequent resting position of looking both thoughtful and drowsy at the same time. “Well, the idea that’s been interesting me quite a lot recently is you having sex with me while I’m still asleep.’

It took a solid couple of moments for Caspar’s mind to actually comprehend the meaning of the words Linhardt had just said. Following those beats of silence, though, Caspar’s eyes flew open in shock. “… What!?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t necessarily be asleep for the whole time. The idea of waking up to you panting for me, maybe having your hand or mouth around me while I was still unconscious is one that I rather enjoy. I understand if it’s not something you’re interested in, though.” Linhardt finished with a yawn, just as casual as he had been through the rest of their conversation. Caspar felt a rush of heat coloring his cheeks, trying to stop himself from thinking too hard about what Linhardt had just described out of fear of getting a little _too_ interested in that imagery.

Linhardt shifted in bed, settling himself down, appearing to get ready to sleep. Caspar realized that he never responded, and now the lull in their conversation had gone on for what was quickly becoming an uncomfortably long time.

“Well, it’s not like I’m totally against the idea, or anything like that. I just— it’s just not something I’ve ever considered before,” Caspar finally replied. And he was telling the truth. While he had indulged in a cuddle or quick kiss while Linhardt was sleeping, he had never thought about doing anything sexual in those circumstances. Something about it always felt like he was taking advantage of him. Although, it was possible the situation could be different if he knew in advance that Linhardt would be into it.

Linhardt met Caspar’s gaze, eyes gentle and sleepy. “That’s fine. I never said I wanted to do anything about it right now. This was merely me letting you know that, if the thought ever seems appealing to you, it’s something I’d like.” As he was speaking, his eyes drifted closed, and he seemed almost all the way to asleep by the time he was finished.

Caspar scooted close enough to Linhardt so he could throw an arm around him, cuddling so their warm breaths intermingled. “Alright. G’night, Linhardt.”

“Goodnight, Caspar.”

—

There were few things in the world Caspar loved more than a good, hard training session that left him feeling satisfyingly worn out, adrenaline still coursing through his system as he headed back into the home he and Linhardt shared. He had already taken his shirt off, slick with sweat from exertion. The house was silent as he headed towards his and Linhardt’s shared bedroom, and he found Linhardt curled up on their bed, deep in one of his frequent naps. Even with as many times as Caspar had seen it, the sight of Linhardt curled up in their blankets, face smushed against one of his luxuriously soft pillows was probably one of the cutest things Caspar had ever seen.

As tired as he was from his workout, he knew exactly how little Linhardt would appreciate it if he got his sweat all over their bed, so he resigned himself to taking the quickest bath the could, drying himself off and finally getting to curl himself up with Linhardt. The warmth of the bath had relaxed his tense muscles, and now, snuggled up with Linhardt, he couldn’t think of anywhere he’d rather be. Linhardt’s sleep-warmed skin felt amazing where it brushed against his own, so he tugged him even closer so they were laying chest to chest, pressed together as much as Caspar could manage. He shivered slightly at the feeling of Linhardt’s sleep clothes brushing his own naked skin, shifting a bit to settle in. What he hadn’t expected was how all that contact was going to unexpectedly affect him.

While he hadn’t been paying attention, his shuffling had made it evident that his body had chosen to get half hard against Linhardt’s hip. Caspar guessed that the post-workout adrenaline had something to do with it as he tried to muffle the surprised noise he had to catch in his throat. Their position certainly didn’t help the situation, since every time Caspar tried to shift to alleviate some of the pressure, he only ended up grinding himself against Linhardt.

Caspar had to stop and gather his thoughts, taking a deep breath. He had gotten himself all worked up now, but Linhardt was completely dead to the world next to him. He did recall the… interesting conversation he and Linhardt had about their fantasies, and of course the idea of continuing anyways, even if Linhardt was asleep, did cross his mind. The concept certainly seemed enticing, the idea making his erection even harder to ignore as he imagined stroking himself and Linhardt together until they were both panting.

But… Linhardt just looked so peaceful as he napped, his sleeping expression reminding Caspar of some of those paintings he had seen depicting the gentle image of the Goddess.

Yeah, there was no way Caspar could disturb that.

So, he instead tossed his legs over the side of the bed and rubbed one out, making quick work of himself so he could finish and get cleaned up again as soon as possible. At this point, all he wanted was to lay back down again and actually take that nap he had intended to take.

—

Caspar woke up with a gasp.

While this usually only happened when his dreams were haunted by the horrors of war, this gasp was far from the panicked, heaving breaths that followed those dreams. This dream left Caspar feeling like he had been punched in the gut with want, practically shaking from how vivid the feeling of residual arousal from his dream was. His skin was slick with sweat, and he had unconsciously twisted himself up in the sheets in his sleep. He rubbed a hand over his face, trying to get his brain to focus on anything that wasn’t the images his brain had conjured up. It had been an amazing dream, Linhardt beneath him, fair skin flushed and eyes glazed over with need. He shuddered, taking stock of his surroundings to distract himself.

There was sunlight streaming through their window, though it was soft enough that it must have still been much earlier than he usually woke. He turned to look at Linhardt, who was still soundly asleep beside him. But, Caspar couldn’t help but note that Linhardt’s typically peaceful sleep seemed less restful than usual, with him shifting under the covers, unconsciously throwing an arm over his face. This alone was enough to catch Caspar’s attention, since Linhardt was practically famous (or infamous) for being able to sleep soundly through pretty much anything. He pushed himself up to sit against the headboard, watching in confusion as Linhardt continued tossing and turning. It wasn’t until Caspar could hear quiet, whimpering sounds half-caught in Linhardt’s throat that he decided to take action, crawling over and untangling the covers so he could tug them down the bed and away from Linhardt’s body. Once he had done that, his face immediately flushed as he realized what was going on. He watched, gaze heavy with arousal, as his husband was having a wet dream, the hard line of him already visible through his sleep pants.

Caspar was torn. On the one hand, he couldn’t help but feel voyeuristic, watching Linhardt squirm in unconscious pleasure, but he still vividly recalled their conversation about fantasies, Linhardt’s proposition now seeming more appealing than ever before. He was torn out of his thoughts by a muffled moan, bringing his attention back to the situation at hand. Linhardt’s panting breaths and blushing skin seemed to make the decision for him.

It wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen before, so surely it couldn’t hurt to watch for now, he concluded.

And it was certainly something to see. A shudder travelled down Linhardt’s body as he kept tossing around, practically writhing in the sheets. His hips kept thrusting forward, clearly seeking any kind of stimulation they could find. Whenever he did manage to roll himself over to rub against the mattress, an unconscious whimper leaked out of his throat, and the wet spot on the front of his sleep pants seemed to grow even more noticeable. It was growing harder and harder for Caspar to restrain himself to just watching.

With the wanton display Linhardt was creating, Caspar felt himself getting just as worked up, and his hand slipped into his own smallclothes before he even realized what he was doing, palming his own leaking cock. He heard a sharp gasp, not really sure if it had been from him or Linhardt. His eyes nearly slipped shut, heat flaring through him as he stroked over himself. His eyes snapped wide open, however, when he felt something coming into contact with his knee where it dug into the bed, and he was greeted by the image of Linhardt rubbing himself against Caspar’s leg, desperation and arousal coloring his face a lovely pink.

_Fuck_, Caspar thought to himself. _I can’t just do nothing about this! He looks so good, dammit, and he said it’d be okay, so!_

The decision seemed to have made itself. Caspar ripped his hand away from himself, laying down on his side next to Linhardt and wrapping an arm gently around his waist. From here, he could hear the adorable sounds spilling from Linhardt’s lips even more clearly. With the hand wrapped around Linhardt’s waist, he trailed his rough fingertips over Linhardt’s skin, softly trailing over a couple of scars, through the light smattering of hair trailing down between his legs, before traveling back up to his chest. His fingers brushed over a nipple, and the resulting jolt that caused in Linhardt’s body at the stimulation served as proof to Caspar of this actually being a really good idea. So his fingers circled around the nipple again before pinching and tugging lightly, Linhardt’s hips stuttering in their rhythm, and his chest seeming to be unsure if it wanted to pull back or push forward into the teasing sensation. On a particularly rough tug, Linhardt’s hips rocked back, grinding his ass into Caspar’s still very hard dick, Caspar sucking a sharp breath through his teeth.

_Shit, that’s so hot, dammit!_ Caspar’s mental monologue shouted. _And he’s really still sleeping? Guess I have to step it up then._

Caspar pulled away, disentangling himself briefly. He cracked a smile when he heard a whimper from where Linhardt seemed to be shifting towards where Caspar’s warm chest had been pressing against him. Caspar only broke their contact for a moment before rolling himself over, laying half on top of Linhardt, their legs twining together. He had to intentionally keep his hips lifted up and away, since he knew that he couldn’t allow himself to grind down against Linhardt at all. If he started with that, it’d probably be all he’d want to do until he spilled all over both of them. Sure, it would be fun, but he had other plans for right now.

He tilted his head up to get another look at Linhardt’s flushed face. Yeah, definitely still asleep, but still unbearably handsome, even in his sleep. Caspar pressed his lips to the underside of Linhardt’s jaw before dragging his mouth down, laying sloppy, wet kisses all down his neck to his collarbone. He sucked on the pale skin, dragging his teeth over it until he had created a string of red marks.

While his mouth was busy leaving more love bites, his hands travelled down from his chest, brushing his nipples again, still tight and sensitive from the earlier teasing, before finally making their way to the waistband of Linhardt’s sleep pants. They were easy enough to unfasten and push out of the way, finally exposing Linhardt’s flushed cock to the air. Caspar had to pull off from Linhardt’s neck to watch a drop of precome trail down its length, red and wet at the tip.

Caspar’s mouth watered.

He immediately decided to scrap whatever half-formed plan he had in his head for teasing Linhardt, instead sliding his way down Linhardt’s body until his face was level with Linhardt’s dick. Caspar’s breath puffed hot and heated against Linhardt’s skin, his hand wrapped around the base as he spared one last glance up at Linhardt’s face. Still asleep, somehow, even with all the moaning and shuffling around. Caspar hoped what he was about to do would be enough to wake him; he missed the gentle teasing and praise Linhardt usually showered him with.

Impatient and impulsive as ever, Caspar hurriedly wrapped his lips around Linhardt’s leaking tip before sliding his lips further down the shaft, curling his tongue against the underside. He felt Linhardt’s hips twitching beneath him, using the hand not wrapped around his dick to press those hips into the mattress. He was quickly sliding more of Linhardt into his mouth, allowing his cock into the wet heat of his throat, so he really didn’t want Linhardt to unconsciously choke him if he thrusted up a little too hard. He slid his lips up over the flushed skin, sucking and licking as he went before teasing his tongue around the tip, lapping at the slit.

“A-ah,” Caspar heard as he felt Linhardt jolt beneath him. His gaze flew up just in time to see Linhardt’s eyes crack open, heavy-lidded from both sleep and arousal. “Caspar, hah, you’re really-?” Linhardt managed to ask through his heavy breaths. Caspar swirled his tongue around the tip once more before wrapping his lips around it and sliding down again, taking him deeper and deeper until his nose brushed the wiry hair at the base of Linhardt’s cock. His eyes watered a little from the exertion as he held Linhardt in his throat, but it was worth it to hear Linhardt’s pleasured cries. “Caspar!” Linhardt gasped as his hands flew down to thread into Caspar’s hair, fingertips digging into his scalp, applying just the slightest downward pressure.

Linhardt was clearly already desperate, his eyes hungry as he watched Caspar sliding his mouth up and down his shaft. “Yes, Caspar, just like that,” he groaned, fighting to keep his eyes focused on the erotic scene happening right in front of him. “You look so good choking on my cock like that. Your mouth is—oh, _yes_—your mouth is just perfect, you’re so good—with your lips wrapped around me, just like I knew you’d be.” Linhardt’s filthy words had Caspar groaning around his dick, hips twitching down to grind against the mattress where his own dick was pressed between the bed and his body, aching in its confines.

Caspar started working over him faster, sliding his lips down Linhardt’s dick and wrapping his hand around what he didn’t cover with his mouth, his own saliva mixing with Linhardt’s precome to make his strokes nice and slick. Linhardt was reduced to a wordless mess, only moans and incoherent whimpers conveying his growing pleasure as Caspar drove him closer towards orgasm.

Linhardt was practically vibrating beneath him, hips attempting to thrust forcefully upwards against the force of Caspar’s hand still keeping them pinned against the bed. Caspar could taste him, salty against his tongue. Caspar felt completely enveloped in Linhardt, his skin scorching against his own, his moans ringing in his ears and filling the air of their bedroom, sounding better than even the best music Caspar had ever heard. He picked up the pace as his he could feel his chest warming with love and affection as Linhardt drove his hips forward and came, the pungent taste of him filling Caspar’s mouth as he swallowed him down. Caspar let his lips linger, lapping at Linhardt’s softening cock until he started shivering with oversensitivity, lifting himself up to press a wet kiss to Linhardt’s lips. Linhardt cringed at the taste of himself when Caspar slid his tongue into his mouth.

“’Morning, Lin.”

“Good morning, Caspar. I see you were feeling frisky this morning.”

“What can I say, you always come up with the best plans!” A warm smile spread over Caspar’s face as he gazed down into Linhardt’s eyes. For a moment, he almost forgot entirely about how achingly hard he still was until Linhardt’s hand crept up the inside of his thigh, ghosting a palm over Caspar’s erection.

“Would you like me to take care of this?” Linhardt asked with a sly smile of his own.

“Oh, yes, please, Linhardt,” Caspar gasped. Linhardt took him into his hand with more force now, wrapping his long fingers around his length and quickly finding a quick rhythm that had Caspar groaning above him. His hand was tight and slick around him, and Caspar couldn’t help the way his hips thrust into the friction. Linhardt kept his eyes trained on where his hand wrapped around Caspar, and Caspar looked between them only to see Linhardt’s hand, slicked with his own release, stroking hard and fast over him, come dripping between his fingers. That visual, along with the sweet kiss Linhardt pressed to his lips, had him reaching his peak before he even had time to say anything, only panting breaths and moans leaking from his mouth into Linhardt’s. His hips kept grinding forwards into Linhardt’s hand as he worked through his orgasm, his come spilling over both of their bellies. As soon as he had finished, Caspar dropped bonelessly onto Linhardt.

“Ugh, Caspar, you’re too heavy,” Linhardt grunted.

“I can’t move now! Give a guy a minute to recover.” Linhardt gently pressed against Caspar, shuffling their bodies until they were laying face-to-face on their sides, winding his arms around the bulk of Caspar’s chest.

“So, what brought that on?”

“Huh?”

“Well, it’s not like I wake up every morning with you sucking my dick.”

“Wha-? You don’t have to be so blunt!”

“How long have we been married?” Caspar shot him a weak glare. “Or, even more appropriate, how long have we been having sex with each other?”

“I know, I know!” Caspar had to look away. “I think you were having some kind of… sexy dream. I wasn’t gonna do anything at first, but, you know, things happened.”

“You don’t have to look guilty. As you’ll recall, I was the one who brought it up in the first place, I definitely wanted it.” Linhardt settled a bit more, tugging Caspar forward to tuck his head into the crook of his neck. “Now, aren’t you glad we had that conversation?”

“Yeah, I am.” Caspar surprised himself with how honest he sounded. He pressed a soft kiss to Linhardt’s neck, gentle over one of the marks he had left earlier. “Thanks, Lin.”

“For what?”

Caspar couldn’t quite put the feeling that was spreading warmth all through his chest into words, so he instead chose to lift his head up, meeting Linhardt’s sleepy gaze before pressing a tender kiss to his mouth. It was chaste, little more than their lips slotting together the same way that had countless times before, but Caspar hoped it could convey how he was feeling better than any words he could string together.

The look on Linhardt’s face as he pulled away was soft in a way Caspar could only describe as _loving_. “Thank you, Caspar. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to get a bit more sleep before the day actually starts.”

Caspar thought about objecting, eyes shifting briefly to the sunlight shining bright into their window now, but decided against it, pulling Linhardt just a little bit closer before settling in.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated.
> 
> These two are, like, too much fun to write. I hope y'all love their dynamic as much as I do, because it feels like all I've been able to do lately is write dumb banter between the two of them. 
> 
> Come chat with me about three houses on tumblr @ spacechannellesbian


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